January 2012
December 2011
Is he/she lying about being married before?... →
unsuccessfulweek:
why can’t i just have a new years party by myself why can’t i just be in bed with my laptop and my cat and bad music
Yes.
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. I’ll need your e-mail address. me: teacher: me: teacher: me: teacher: me: teacher: me: tastybitch69@aol.com
Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!
Is he/she lying about being married before?... →
nice
“It always ends. That’s what gives it value.”
– Neil Gaiman (via travors)
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.
In...”
– H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
2 tags
“Sometimes friends become enemies, but what’s worse is when they become...”
– Hayley Williams, Paramore (via turtledesu)
1 tag
“IRS: Be audit you can be”
– Anonymous
1 tag
It's all relative
A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence.
“Think it’s safe to cross?” asked the traveler.
“I reckon so,” said the farmer.
The puddle immediately swallowed the car as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll...
1 tag
The Laws of the Gift
If it doesn’t run off of a wall socket, batteries are never included.
If it does run off of a wall socket, the cord is always too short.
Everything is designed to provide maximum enjoyment until breakage, which is in 3… 2… 1…
1 tag
Milk and Eggs
A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.”
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him. “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?!”
He replied, “They had eggs.”
Hate of Church, State, and Templars: "Chess is... →
anticapitalist:
A good game can last seven hours or more and be enjoyed any time without stopping.
As soon as you finish a game, you’re ready for another one.
There are billions of mating positions. Always NEW!
You can play chess on the internet and find new partners any time you like.
You can’t catch a…
Truth.
“”It’s gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper’s bikini when every bill...”
– Jimmy Fallon on Prince William’s bucks party. (via iwillmindfuckyou)
