May 19 - Happy Betray your spouse and abandon your pet day
I just ran into someone from my past the other day… most notably my past with my ex. They were extremely friendly and very welcoming. I learned that apparently my ex is talking/has talked badly about me… and I don’t mean just badly, but I wouldn’t like me if I believed a damn word that comes out of her mouth. I explained that that was why I don’t interact with most friends from my past… I didn’t want to deal with that nonsense.
My ex-wife was/is disabled… so obviously, if she left me… then I must have been a bad guy. And no one is going to look deeper until they have to. So I’ve waited… and it’s actually quite hilarious how many people from our past have come to me and started talking about the new her AFTER they got close to her and believed her.
How she’s a user, gossip, and worse.
And I’m not sure ever whether I should even talk with these people because… if you were stupid enough to know me… know who I am… and what I would or wouldn’t do… and still think that one word coming out of her mouth was true… then I probably don’t wanna hang around you anymore.
So it was nice to know that this person was so vocal about how much they never believed any of the nonsense about me… and it’s true. They’ve communicated with me, shared things with me, and more. But we’ve never talked about the ex until now… so it was nice to clear that hurdle.
My ex betrayed me. I have video of her promising to not do any of the things she did. I caught her in a web of lies and she promised to reform… more than twice. I cared for her for a decade, without me she would not have the gov’t aid that she does now. I made sure that she never went without the basics in life.
She made sure that I never got to live.
Until she betrayed me for the last time…
Now… my life is full to the brim.
I tried to remain friends with her. I tried to make sure that if/when her illness put her in a home, that she could rely on me to help out. She fought that promise until she won… and now we will never speak again.
I don’t burn bridges. I work tirelessly to retain relationships that are worth my time, with people that I believe to be worth my time. She believes in nuking every bridge that she doesn’t need at this moment.
The thing I remember her best for now? She left me with her cat that she had raised from birth. I promised to watch over him because she couldn’t have pets where she was going to be living.
The last time I saw her… she had a German Shepherd.
That… and she wished a major life illness on my then, soon-to-be-born daughter. She laughed at the thought that there was a chance my daughter would be born with this illness, something I carry in my blood.
Something fairly contagious.
But not only did my daughter NOT get this illness… but my new wife hasn’t either. It looks like one of the things that plagued me for years when I was with my ex… is gone… I haven’t had any health issues with it for over a year now.
I feel sorry for her. But I’m probably the only one. Well, the only one who really knows her (or thinks I do).
I would say I wish her the best, but she doesn’t deserve that.
I don’t even think about her anymore… of course then my phone pops up and reminds me that today is her birthday… lol. That is now officially removed from my calendar.
I’m happier now than I ever believed I would be. A decade of living for someone else that doesn’t recognize other peoples donations of time or more… and I thought life and love were like that. Unsatisfying, unhappy, miserable… but no.
Apparently, you can stumble onto the happiest moments of your life and stay there sometimes.
I laugh with my wife now… I tell her that she is my coma dream. I am so happy that it doesn’t seem real. I wish the same for everyone that is a worthwhile part of my life.
Today will probably be the last time I will think about my ex without someone else bringing her up. I haven’t even had her cross my mind except for other people for about 6 months now. It’s been great and getting better.
I hope no one ever has to go through the nonsense I did… but if you do… remember, you decide who you stay with. You decide how much happiness you are willing to barter or sacrifice against the possibility, the barest of hopes of more in the future. Be smart with your life, choose you… this is your only life.